It's shocking how quickly things can change in life. How you can go from wondering if you're attractive to others to suddenly talking to more people of the opposite sex than you have time for...
For weeks I've been struggling with self-esteem issues. Feeling like I'm not good enough. Not attractive enough. Staring at my phone, willing him to call me, let alone text me back. Refreshing my e-mail every 5 minutes. Keeping Facebook and Twitter open and checking on them consistently. But there was nothing. No response. Of course not. Why, of all the people I want to talk to, will he not respond? And even if he doesn't, it's fine. I then want to find someone who cares for me. Who wants to talk to me too. It makes me wonder what I ever gave up when I had someone who loved me back. But as I lost it all, these weeks of no responses, no interaction... they just depress me. I feel undesired, unloved, unattractive.
And now... now, I don't know what happened. No, he still hasn't gotten back to me. Or rather, he's barely gotten back to me but won't initiate ever, which is annoying in and of itself. I mean, if a guy is interested, he'll make some sort of first move, right?! But suddenly it doesn't matter much anymore, because it seems like men have come out of the woodwork. Suddenly two guys I haven't talked to in over 3 years have asked me out. Two more who I haven't hung out with ever are talking to me, with one date set up from that. And an old mutual friend from years ago asked me on a date as well. I guess this is God's way of telling me I am attractive and I am desired. It's also his way of helping me take my mind off of the others who never respond... and giving me hope.
And for that I am exceedingly grateful.
