Love
Amor
L'amour
Amore
любовь
Liebe
愛
الحب
Liefde
αγάπη
愛
grá
عشق
אהבה
kärlek
Any way you say it, it is a magnificent, fascinating, precious part of life that should never be let out of sight.
I love you all
Monday, March 28, 2011
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Tears
Crying is a most unusual and yet natural occurrence. Tonight, however, it's unusual.
I feel as though I'm missing something.. some part of me that's eluding my mind, body, and spirit. Nothing is wrong though; nothing negative or upsetting has happened. And yet, tears come to my eyes, threatening to overspill as they hover on the brim of my eyelids, my eyelashes barely holding them in. I feel cold, gray... no, not gray. Just muted tones of colors. I feel like I want to curl into the "child's pose," as the fetal position is called, and just try to find solace in myself.
I don't understand. Life is good. I know I am loved, I have a great family, I have amazing friends. All the work I have to do is enjoyable and always gets done. But there's more to it than that. I feel I'm living in a world that doesn't agree with me. I'm happy with who I am as a person, yet I feel as though those closest to me are standing on the other side of the Nile River. I feel alone, despite being surrounded by many. I feel as though I'm being myself, yet those around me aren't satisfied with that. It's not enough. What I do isn't pleasing them. I must change myself to appease those around me. At least, it feels that way. I haven't decided yet whether I will or not. And I'm not just talking about them. I'm talking about you as well. And you too.
And so the tears come. In a world where I'm loved by many, these tears show me otherwise. There's something to that desire to crawl into the fetal position and find some sort of inner peace. After all, that is the only way serenity will come and the crying will cease. Tears are natural - they arise in many situations - but as they stream down my face and drip onto my arms, my chest, my legs, I know they represent something more.
I feel as though I'm missing something.. some part of me that's eluding my mind, body, and spirit. Nothing is wrong though; nothing negative or upsetting has happened. And yet, tears come to my eyes, threatening to overspill as they hover on the brim of my eyelids, my eyelashes barely holding them in. I feel cold, gray... no, not gray. Just muted tones of colors. I feel like I want to curl into the "child's pose," as the fetal position is called, and just try to find solace in myself.
I don't understand. Life is good. I know I am loved, I have a great family, I have amazing friends. All the work I have to do is enjoyable and always gets done. But there's more to it than that. I feel I'm living in a world that doesn't agree with me. I'm happy with who I am as a person, yet I feel as though those closest to me are standing on the other side of the Nile River. I feel alone, despite being surrounded by many. I feel as though I'm being myself, yet those around me aren't satisfied with that. It's not enough. What I do isn't pleasing them. I must change myself to appease those around me. At least, it feels that way. I haven't decided yet whether I will or not. And I'm not just talking about them. I'm talking about you as well. And you too.
And so the tears come. In a world where I'm loved by many, these tears show me otherwise. There's something to that desire to crawl into the fetal position and find some sort of inner peace. After all, that is the only way serenity will come and the crying will cease. Tears are natural - they arise in many situations - but as they stream down my face and drip onto my arms, my chest, my legs, I know they represent something more.
Friday, March 11, 2011
You
You're out there. In the world without me. Will we meet in the future? Sometime soon? I'm lonely. I feel as though a part of me is empty, waiting to be filled. I go through the motions of life... sometimes feeling, sometime not. Today was a 'not.'
So when will I be with you? When will I feel complete? Some say to leave life to destiny, especially this thing we call love. Others say to be proactive. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion; I need to make my own. But instead, I'm here. Waiting. For you.
I'll know "you" when we meet. You'll know me too.
So when will I be with you? When will I feel complete? Some say to leave life to destiny, especially this thing we call love. Others say to be proactive. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion; I need to make my own. But instead, I'm here. Waiting. For you.
I'll know "you" when we meet. You'll know me too.
Saturday, March 5, 2011
What I'm Learning...
"The greatest thing you'll ever learn
is just to love and be loved in return"
~Nat King Cole, "Nature Boy"
"Know thyself"
~Socrates
"Be happy in the moment - that's enough.
Each moment is all we need - not more"
~Mother Teresa
Each one has to find his peace from within.
And peace, to be real, must be unaffected by outside circumstances"
~Gandhi
is just to love and be loved in return"
~Nat King Cole, "Nature Boy"
"Know thyself"
~Socrates
"Be happy in the moment - that's enough.
Each moment is all we need - not more"
~Mother Teresa
Each one has to find his peace from within.
And peace, to be real, must be unaffected by outside circumstances"
~Gandhi
Lo Que Quiero
What I want is serenity. I want peace within myself and for the world. I want to love everyone and everything around me, including myself. I want to be able to live each day with joy, and love, and passion, and peace, as well as determination, hard work, and faith. I don't want to be the same for the rest of my life. I've realized that I will always be changing, but my desire is to consistently shape myself into a better person. Not by the world's standards, but by my own. I want to be one with God, to feel Him within me and to embody this presence in everything I do.
Yet I've also realized that this will not occur in one weekend. This does not mean my weekend of solitude is finished. But I've already started changing... I'm not the person right now that I was a few months ago, or even yesterday. And I will continue to change and to shape my life, my body, and my mind every day.
I also should not write about what I want, as if it's something in the future that I'm striving to obtain, as though it is a piece of clothing I want and am striving to obtain. Rather, the aforementioned wishes are who I am now. They are not entirely developed, but they are hidden inside me. I can feel them, and desperately want them to take a permanent place in my life, yet they seem afraid.
I'm afraid of what the world will think. Society. That which has shaped the opinions and actions of many. That which has caused war and suffering and guilt and fear. How does one find him/herself in a world such as this? It saddens me to think that as I'm slowly becoming more at peace with myself, and God, and the world, there are so many others who lack this realization. But more than that, who won't accept it within me. The world needs tolerance desperately, which is the first step to acceptance. Each person needs to find themselves and know who they are, but also recognize that who they are is not who the rest of the world will be. If society were this way, I would not fear becoming more at one with myself, instead of becoming more towards how society has/is shaping me.
However, I need to begin with me. When I become Serenity, Love, Peace, Joy... then I will be able to handle the world in a better way. So here's to the beginning! And to what is to come. =)
Yet I've also realized that this will not occur in one weekend. This does not mean my weekend of solitude is finished. But I've already started changing... I'm not the person right now that I was a few months ago, or even yesterday. And I will continue to change and to shape my life, my body, and my mind every day.
I also should not write about what I want, as if it's something in the future that I'm striving to obtain, as though it is a piece of clothing I want and am striving to obtain. Rather, the aforementioned wishes are who I am now. They are not entirely developed, but they are hidden inside me. I can feel them, and desperately want them to take a permanent place in my life, yet they seem afraid.
I'm afraid of what the world will think. Society. That which has shaped the opinions and actions of many. That which has caused war and suffering and guilt and fear. How does one find him/herself in a world such as this? It saddens me to think that as I'm slowly becoming more at peace with myself, and God, and the world, there are so many others who lack this realization. But more than that, who won't accept it within me. The world needs tolerance desperately, which is the first step to acceptance. Each person needs to find themselves and know who they are, but also recognize that who they are is not who the rest of the world will be. If society were this way, I would not fear becoming more at one with myself, instead of becoming more towards how society has/is shaping me.
However, I need to begin with me. When I become Serenity, Love, Peace, Joy... then I will be able to handle the world in a better way. So here's to the beginning! And to what is to come. =)
Lyrics
"Mirror, Mirror on the wall, Have I got it?
'Cause Mirror you've always told me who I am
I'm finding it's not easy to be perfect
So sorry you won't define me
Sorry you don't own me
Who are you to tell me
That I'm less than what I should be?
Who are you? Who are you?
I don't need to listen
To the list of things I should do
I won't try, I won't try"
~Barlow Girl, "Mirror"
"Look at me
You may think you see
Who I really am
But you’ll never know me.
Every day, is as if I play a part.
Now I see
If I wear a mask
I can fool the world,
But I can not fool
My heart.
I am now
In a world where I have to
Hide my heart
And what I believe in.
But somehow
I will show the world
What’s inside my heart
And be loved for who I am.
Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me?
Why is my reflection
Someone I don’t know?
Must I pretend that i’m
Someone else for all time?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?
There’s a heart that must
Be free to fly
That burns with a need
To know the reason why:
Why must we all conceal
What we think,
How we feel?
Must there be a secret me
I’m forced to hide?
I won’t pretend that i’m
Someone else
For all time
When will my reflections show
Who I am inside?"
'Cause Mirror you've always told me who I am
I'm finding it's not easy to be perfect
So sorry you won't define me
Sorry you don't own me
Who are you to tell me
That I'm less than what I should be?
Who are you? Who are you?
I don't need to listen
To the list of things I should do
I won't try, I won't try"
~Barlow Girl, "Mirror"
"Look at me
You may think you see
Who I really am
But you’ll never know me.
Every day, is as if I play a part.
Now I see
If I wear a mask
I can fool the world,
But I can not fool
My heart.
I am now
In a world where I have to
Hide my heart
And what I believe in.
But somehow
I will show the world
What’s inside my heart
And be loved for who I am.
Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me?
Why is my reflection
Someone I don’t know?
Must I pretend that i’m
Someone else for all time?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?
There’s a heart that must
Be free to fly
That burns with a need
To know the reason why:
Why must we all conceal
What we think,
How we feel?
Must there be a secret me
I’m forced to hide?
I won’t pretend that i’m
Someone else
For all time
When will my reflections show
Who I am inside?"
~Christina Aguilera, "Reflection"
This weekend I'm taking time for me. I need to figure out who I am, and how I want to live my life. I feel like it's easy to get lost in a world where there are so many opinions and choices and influences, and I need to find myself in all of it.
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