Today I feel compelled to write on a subject that is very dear to me. A girl whom I love very much is currently going through a very tough time with food. With a BMI of 15 (over twenty pounds below the "underweight" category for her height), she continually finds herself not hungry and terrified of gaining weight. From those of you not familiar with the feeling, I can tell you from experience that this is predominant in anorexia nervosa.
I suffered from both anorexia and bulimia as a teen, so I feel a sense of responsibility in helping this girl overcome her obstacles with food. However, I also know that it is no easy process, that she must want to get better herself, and that it is a disorder that may have lasting effects for the rest of her life.
What kills me most is that it can be prevented. I know mine could have. Instead of - as a girl turning into a woman - being told that I'd face this time where I'd suddenly gain weight and that I'd have to watch what I ate, I was told that I was absolutely beautiful and was going through a transformation that would make me even more so... this could have entirely changed my mental outlook It is the mental attitude of young women (and men) that prompt them to start this destructive spiral, and it doesn't help that we live in a society which propagates that "thinness" = "attractiveness".
I know, as a child and growing older, that I wasn't told nearly often enough that I was beautiful. Instead, I thought I was a very plain or even unattractive girl, leading to the low self-esteem that made me vulnerable to the temptations of both anorexia and bulimia. But the truth of the matter is... I was beautiful. I still am, despite putting on thirty pounds from my adolescent, anorexic state. And we all are. From this girl who means so much to me to the little girls and boys on the playground trying to be like their moms and dads and older siblings, acting all grown up... we're all beautiful.
So let's tell each other. Tell your daughters, your sons, your brothers and sisters, your students, your teammates, you're coworkers. "You're beautiful." It's not that hard to say. "Just the way you are. Inside and out."
Those of us suffering from low self-esteem need to be told this often. It's a cruel joke that we can't just be told "I love you" or "You look gorgeous" just once and be fine. In fact, once a week isn't even enough! It needs to be a constant reminder, a constant affirmation, that others truly think we're beautiful. That we truly are loved.
If this becomes the message we tell our young... think of how different a world we will live in. Think of the joy, hope, love that we'll all share. Just by saying the truth. Just by sharing one message:
"You're beautiful."
I suffered from both anorexia and bulimia as a teen, so I feel a sense of responsibility in helping this girl overcome her obstacles with food. However, I also know that it is no easy process, that she must want to get better herself, and that it is a disorder that may have lasting effects for the rest of her life.
What kills me most is that it can be prevented. I know mine could have. Instead of - as a girl turning into a woman - being told that I'd face this time where I'd suddenly gain weight and that I'd have to watch what I ate, I was told that I was absolutely beautiful and was going through a transformation that would make me even more so... this could have entirely changed my mental outlook It is the mental attitude of young women (and men) that prompt them to start this destructive spiral, and it doesn't help that we live in a society which propagates that "thinness" = "attractiveness".
I know, as a child and growing older, that I wasn't told nearly often enough that I was beautiful. Instead, I thought I was a very plain or even unattractive girl, leading to the low self-esteem that made me vulnerable to the temptations of both anorexia and bulimia. But the truth of the matter is... I was beautiful. I still am, despite putting on thirty pounds from my adolescent, anorexic state. And we all are. From this girl who means so much to me to the little girls and boys on the playground trying to be like their moms and dads and older siblings, acting all grown up... we're all beautiful.
So let's tell each other. Tell your daughters, your sons, your brothers and sisters, your students, your teammates, you're coworkers. "You're beautiful." It's not that hard to say. "Just the way you are. Inside and out."
Those of us suffering from low self-esteem need to be told this often. It's a cruel joke that we can't just be told "I love you" or "You look gorgeous" just once and be fine. In fact, once a week isn't even enough! It needs to be a constant reminder, a constant affirmation, that others truly think we're beautiful. That we truly are loved.
If this becomes the message we tell our young... think of how different a world we will live in. Think of the joy, hope, love that we'll all share. Just by saying the truth. Just by sharing one message:
"You're beautiful."
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