Pensamientos

The thoughts running through my head are varied tonight.  Who am I?  What do I want out of life?  Why have I chosen to live this life I'm currently living, and why do I seem to lack the ability to change it?  Actually, let me rephrase that.  Not "lack the ability", for I could change my circumstances in an instant.  However, it would not be in the way that I'd like.  Instead, it's "lack the courage" or, better, "lack the ability to get my way".  Which seems entirely selfish.  It is, in fact.  But in this moment, more than ever, I wish I could control my life.  I wish it could be exactly as I can visualize it in my head.  I've done my wishing on falling stars, I've said all my prayers and crossed all my fingers.  This does not seem to be enough.

So life is not a fairy tale after all.  It deals with human beings, and therefore is filled with drama, emotions, manipulation, greed, and countless other issues.  Suddenly my fairy tale has fallen along the lines of the Grimm Brothers from that of Walt Disney.  So where does reality fit in the midst of this?  What can I do to actually influence my life, and create my own fairy tale instead?