Nearly five months later, I have decided to start posting to this blog again. I miss it - this writing with abandon about anything and everything that crosses my mind. It's stress-relieving, and Lord knows I need a lot of that these days.
For nearly five months, I've ignored this blog. I didn't want the obligation of writing. I didn't want to feel like I was being forced to jot down my thoughts.
For nearly five months, I was afraid. I had always considered this blog the place in which I'd record my feelings whenever I was feeling depressed, worthless, confused, or just altogether down. And I was fearful of acknowledging this within me. I wanted to pretend that side of me didn't exist, to pretend that I was a perfectly happy and optimistic person. I didn't want to give myself a reason to complain.
For nearly five months, I haven't been myself. Or rather, I have. Just not the "me" I want to be. I've put on a front, a facade to the world and to myself, without fully accepting the person I truly am.
So now, nearly five months later, I've decided it's time to reconnect with myself. To let my thoughts go, to write whatever the hell I feel like, when I feel like it, how I feel like it. I warned you all (and simultaneously warned myself) that this would not be a consistent task - this one of "blog writing." It turns out, I was right. But I'd like to at least open up this portal of communication with myself and with society and with the world at large, as much as a blog is any of those things.
Mostly, though, I'm doing this for me.
For nearly five months, I've ignored this blog. I didn't want the obligation of writing. I didn't want to feel like I was being forced to jot down my thoughts.
For nearly five months, I was afraid. I had always considered this blog the place in which I'd record my feelings whenever I was feeling depressed, worthless, confused, or just altogether down. And I was fearful of acknowledging this within me. I wanted to pretend that side of me didn't exist, to pretend that I was a perfectly happy and optimistic person. I didn't want to give myself a reason to complain.
For nearly five months, I haven't been myself. Or rather, I have. Just not the "me" I want to be. I've put on a front, a facade to the world and to myself, without fully accepting the person I truly am.
So now, nearly five months later, I've decided it's time to reconnect with myself. To let my thoughts go, to write whatever the hell I feel like, when I feel like it, how I feel like it. I warned you all (and simultaneously warned myself) that this would not be a consistent task - this one of "blog writing." It turns out, I was right. But I'd like to at least open up this portal of communication with myself and with society and with the world at large, as much as a blog is any of those things.
Mostly, though, I'm doing this for me.
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